Introverted Extrovert

I may be pretty social,
Yeah I'm a pretty friendly guy,
But it is all a ruse,
To cover up whats inside.

Despite all the heroic things I've done,
Despite all the awards I've won,
I cant help but think I'm not good enough,
See I'm not really all that tough.

I use carnival mirrors to fool your eyes.
Because of all things I'm most terrified,
Of showing who I really am inside,
And being scorned and being denied.

So sometimes I wont tell a girl how I really feel,
Because I don’t want to loose the friendship that’s already real.
Sometimes ill hang out with someone I don’t like to much,
Because I am using them as my own personal crutch.

I cant help but feel this is cowardly.
So I keep it all buried down silently.
I try to keep my flaws quiet and to myself.
So I will only hurt myself and no one else.

So every time you see me about ready to speak,
And I stop myself tilt my head and think.
I'm thinking of the consequences of what I might say,
Thinking that I might hurt someone in some way.

Because I don’t want to cause offense.
I don’t want to make anyone stumble.
That's why I may hold my tong,
And let the words in my mind crumble.

So the bits of the crumbles and rambling,
Are what I send to you this evening,
To try to better explain my shortcomings.
And hope you get a better picture of me.

Let this flush out the edges and fill in a few lines,
Because talking with you eases my mind...