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The Door is OpenI'm sick of coming up in second place,
some times its all I can do to keep a straight face.
I'm tired of being the third wheel.
All I want is to feel what everyone else feels.
I'm sick of all the lonely nights.
Id gladly accept all the fights. (Chorus)
Ive gone and built myself a home.
The doors open but I'm still alone.
This emptiness was driven home.
A Friday night spent all alone.
Drifting from store to store mall to mall.
Why doesn't anyone hear my call?
Steel SplinterThis thought is a steel splinter, underneath my skin.
Rusting & corroding, the tetanus sets in.
Causing my jaw, To lock up tight.
Even though, Ill be seeing you tonight.
But I'm tasting the copper burn.
The pain from words unheard. (Chorus)
My thoughts feel like breaking down.
All I am are nerves to tightly bound.
Your presence makes me feel, like a child once more.
I have joints but they just cant deal, with this much stress at the core.
Your body makes me ache, your mind blinds my eyes.
You must see me quake. You have to realize.
What you do to me can not be undone.
My downfall has finally begun.
I can feel the wind in my hair.
As I'm falling faster and faster, through the air...
Slightly Off KeyThe rhythm that I move to, is slightly off beat.
The pace of my life, is definitely unique.
But I truly believe, that you're the harmony,
To my slightly, off key melody.
I want you to play a bigger roll, turn the volume up a bit.
Your voice is lost in crashing cymbals, & the guitar riff. (Chorus)
So I ask you to let it all out, sing for the rafters.
Just think about the here and now, not the before and after.
You fill in the gaps, you back me up.
You are the missing track, the one I trust
I want so badly, to hit unmute.
To mix & meld my life with you.
I was just coming home from my friend Seth's house after a real good jam session. We had just completed what we had thought to be an impossible song and I was feeling mighty proud of our little group. I was driving home with my brother Ivan sitting in the car beside me. He is about five years younger than I am even though he doesn't look it. He is quite large and getting stronger. He is about five ten, has a roundish face and blond hair. I am a small slighter built person at five foot five and one hundred and twenty five pounds. I have brown hair and blue eyes.
There was a flash of light in the night sky as we were heading home. "Look Lance, " Ivan said, "Lightning."
"Yeah." I said, "And not a drop of rain either, that doesn't happen around here ever that I know of."
"Yeah, you would think," Ivan said. "That in western Washington, and Granite Falls in particular would be having rain."
So we got home and Ivan went into the house. I decided that I would like to sit out and
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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